Action Figures based on sports are nothing new. Back in the late 1980s Kenner Products introduced Starting Lineups. They were pretty cool for the time. They made heavy reuse of body molds, had limited articulation and were very pre-posed. All these factored into why I never got into collecting them. I’ve got one..and it’s one of the few toys in my collection still in the package: a 1989 Detroit Tigers Alan Trammel.

I remember thinking, even back then, that sports figures should be more poseable (I didn’t think in fancy terms like articulation back then). I mean, these were atheletes, right? They’re running, diving, swinging, tackling…etc, etc. In other words, they’re moving!

McFarlane Toys began producing sports figures several years back to compete with Starting Lineups. McFarlane only had a license through the Players Asscociations so there were no team logos allowed…just approximations of team colors. When Kenner/Hasbro’s license expired, McFarlane got right in there and got the actual MLB, NFL, NBA and NHL licenses and their SportsPicks line soared to new heights of popularity.

 But, as great as the sculpting was…and it was great…even SportsPicks left me wanting more. I still wanted to be able to pose my sports figures.

It wasn’t until this year that my dream became reality thanks to a new company, Gracelyn Toys.

Earlier in 2006 Gracelyn released their first series of NFL Re-Plays. They’re 5" scale, fully-poseable (16 points of articulation) action figures of players from the National Football League and I can’t say enough good things about ‘em!

The problem is they’re not easy to come by.

Wal-Mart, so far, is the only brick and mortar store to carry them. There were some reports, when the first series was release, of regional single player cases showing up at Target stores in select markets. Clinton Portis was sighted in some Washington state Targets.

 Wal-Mart seems to get in one or two cases per series and that’s it. Several Wal-Marts in my area don’t even hang them in the action figure aisle, but lost amongst the die-cast cars an aisle or two away. So, unless you know to look for them you may never see them, and that’s a shame.

When Gracelyn announced these figures a few Toy Fairs back they also had plans to produce MLB and NBA figures. Last I heard they were trying to iron out some issues with those licenses, so time will tell if they see the light of day. I hope they do, as I was really looking forward to the baseball figures even more than the football ones. If and when I find out more, I’ll be sure to pass that information along.

So, if sports action figures are your bag and you can’t find Gracelyn Toys’ Re-Plays at your local Wal-Mart try All-Star Figures. Figures are available individually, by the set or by the case. I’d encourage fans and colletors of sports figures to support the line. I want to see Re-Plays go on for years to come, and grow to encompass the other major sports.

These are the sports figures I’ve been waiting nearly 20 years for!

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 Every Halloween we all get dressed-up, act like fools and steal candy from neighborhood kids when they come to the door. But does everyone know the history behind the holiday?

 The origin of Halloween dates back 2,000 years to the ancient Celtic festival of Samhain (pronounced sow-in).  While most dictionaries of Celtic Languages don’t mention any "Samhain" deity, McBain’s Etymological Dictionary of the Gaelic Language says that "samhuinn" (the Scots Gaelic spelling) means "Hallow-tide" (or ‘sacred time’), and that it probably came from roots meaning "summer’s end."

The Celts celebrated their new year on November 1.  This day marked the end of summer and the harvest and the beginning of the dark, cold winter, a time of year that was often associated with human death.  They believed that on the night before the new year, the boundary between the worlds of the living and the dead became blurred.  On the night of October 31, they celebrated Samhain, when it was believed that the ghosts of the dead returned to earth.  In addition to causing trouble and damaging crops, Celts thought that the presence of the otherworldly spirits made it easier for the Druids (Celtic priests) to make predictions about the future.  For a people entirely dependent on the volatile natural world, these prophecies were an important source of comfort and direction during the long, dark winter.

To commemorate the event, Druids built huge sacred bonfires around which the people gathered to burn crops and animals as sacrifices to the Celtic deities.  During the celebration, the Celts wore costumes, typically consisting of animal heads and skins, and attempted to tell each other’s fortunes.  When the celebration was over, they re-lit their hearth fires, which they had extinguished earlier that evening, from the sacred bonfire to help protect them during the coming winter.

 By A.D. 43, Romans had conquered the majority of Celtic territory.  In the course of the four hundred years that they ruled the Celtic lands, two festivals of Roman origin were combined with the traditional Celtic celebration of Samhain.  The first was "Feralia", a day in late October when the Romans traditionally commemorated the passing of the dead.  The second was a day to honor Pomona, the Roman goddess of fruit and trees.  The symbol of Pomona is the apple and the incorporation of this celebration into Samhain probably explains the tradition of "bobbing" for apples that is practiced today on Halloween.

By the 800s, the influence of Christianity had spread into Celtic lands.  In the seventh century, Pope Boniface IV designated November 1 All Saints’ Day, a time to honor saints and martyrs.  It is widely believed today that the pope was attempting to replace the Celtic festival of the dead with a related, but church-sanctioned holiday.  The celebration was also called "All-hallows" or "All-hallowmas" (from Middle English Alholowmesse meaning All Saints’ Day) and the night before it, the night of Samhain, began to be called "All-hallows Eve" and, eventually, "Halloween".  Even later, in A.D. 1000, the church would make November 2 "All Souls’ Day", a day to honor the dead.  It was celebrated similarly to Samhain, with big bonfires, parades, and dressing up in costumes as saints, angels, and devils.  Together, the three celebrations, the eve of All Saints’, All Saints’, and All Souls’, were called "Hallowmas".

The custom of trick-or-treating is thought to have originated not with the Irish Celts, but with a ninth-century European custom called "souling".  On November 2, All Souls Day, early Christians would walk from village to village begging for "soul cakes" made out of square pieces of bread with currants.  The more soul cakes the beggars would receive, the more prayers they would promise to say on behalf of the dead relatives of the donors.  At the time, it was believed that the dead remained in limbo for a time after death, and that prayer, even by strangers, could expedite a soul’s passage to heaven.

As for the Jack O’ Lantern, the legend goes back hundreds of years in Irish History.  As the story goes, Stingy Jack was a miserable, old drunk who liked to play tricks on everyone: family, friends, his mother and even the Devil himself.  One day, he tricked theDevil into climbing up an apple tree. Once the Devil climbed up the apple tree, Stingy Jack hurriedly placed crosses around the trunk of the tree. The Devil was then unable to get down the tree. Stingy Jack made the Devil promise him not to take his soul when he died. Once the devil promised not to take his soul, Stingy Jack removed the crosses and let the Devil down.

Many years later, when Jack finally died, he went to the pearly gates of Heaven and was told by Saint Peter that he was too mean and too cruel and had led a miserable and worthless life on earth.  He was not allowed to enter heaven.  He then went down to Hell and the Devil.  The Devil kept his promise and would not allow him to enter Hell.  Now Jack was scared and had nowhere to go but to wander about forever in the darkness between heaven and hell.

He asked the Devil how he could leave as there was no light.  The Devil tossed him an ember from the flames of Hell to help him light his way.  Jack placed the ember in a hollowed out Turnip, one of his favorite foods which he always carried around with him whenever he could steal one.  For that day onward, Stingy Jack roamed the earth without a resting place, lighting his way as he went with his "Jack O’Lantern".

On All Hallow’s Eve, the Irish hollowed out Turnips, rutabagas, gourds, potatoes and beets.  They placed a light in them to ward off evil spirits and keep Stingy Jack away.  These were the original Jack O’ Lanterns.  In the 1800′s a couple of waves of Irish immigrants came to America.  The Irish immigrants quickly discovered that Pumpkins were bigger and easier to carve out.  So they used pumpkins for Jack O’ Lanterns.

So, although some cults and Satanists may have adopted Halloween as their favorite "holiday," the day itself did not grow out of evil practices.  It grew out of the rituals of Celts celebrating a new year, and out of Medieval prayer rituals of Europeans.  And today, even many churches have Halloween parties or pumpkin carving events for the kids.  After all, the day itself is only as evil as one cares to make it.

And speaking of evil, below is my costume – the lovable Kevin Federline.

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In my column on how the Internet has changed, and in some ways fostered, action figure collecting, I lamented the passing of surprise.  I once had several mini-Christmases a year as each new wave of G.I. Joe, Masters of the Universe, or Transformers appeared on Toys R Us pegs.  I’d get a new figure and feverishly pour over the cardback or enclosed pamphlet, usually on the toilet, to emerse myself in the horizon.  I’d establish the order I wanted to get the new stuff (villains were a priority, especially in the case of Cobra) and dream about what glorious new adventures were to come.

Now, we all know exactly what’s coming six months before it ever leaves the factory.  Except this one time…

In a forum post earlier this week, AFI’s own Jeff Cope reported finding Series 3 of Zizzle’s Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest figures at Target.  This is significant because, though the contents of the assortment were known months ago, there were no announcements of its impending arrival and no prototype pictures of the figures appeared ANYwhere on the ‘Net.  While it’s not exactly the same as being greeted in Aisle 7C by an entire wave of toys you had no idea were coming, this is unheard of in the realm of lisensed action figures at this stage of the game. 

So, armed with this tip and feeling a bit like I did when all I wanted out of life was Big Boa, I went to Target yesterday and found these…

The experience was further enhanced when, in order to get these guys, I had to ask a Team Member to pull a case from the stock room (love those Target price scanners).  This is another throwback because I got a lot of my new figures over the years when my Dad would ask the employees at TRU to "check the back."  I got Super Powers Penguin, I figure I ached months for, that way.

Thanks, Dad.

I don’t know if Zizzle intentionally shipped Series 3 without preamble to boost interest in the line, or they just didn’t bother with publicity, or are inept, but it made buying Ragetti and Captain Barbossa all the more special.  The Zizzle Pirates line is one of my favorites of the year.  They’re simple, well-made, FUN figures.  They remind me of the original Star Wars figures in a way (as, I believe, the movies capture some of the whisical pulp spirit of the Original Trilogy), and so I think it fitting Zizzle’s Pirates hit the pegs the old fashioned way, even if it’s just this once.

So thank you, Zizzle.  For Ragetti…

…for Captain Barbossa…

…and for the intrepid crew of The Black Pearl.

I love them all.

-JJJ

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Well, hello there.

It’s been a week and a half since AFI relaunched and opened the doors on these shiny new blogs…and this is my first entry. I hope it’s blogworthy.

Life’s been a little nuts around the Cope household since the launch, hence my delay. Many of you know that I have been unemployed for some time now (about a year and a half) since leaving a position as youth pastor at a church here in Columbus, Ohio. It’s made for some rough times and it’s made toy collecting pretty tough.

I’ve been able to keep up with some stuff by selling off some of my unwanted items, plus have been doing some work here and there in exchange for product…plus the outright generosity of some fellow collectors. There’s still a lot of holes, especially in Toy Biz Marvel stuff since it’s been coming out so fast and furiously this year…but, such is life.

 As it stands we’ve got a roof over our heads (benefits of living in a home that’s completely paid off), food on the table and the most beautiful two-year old little girl you could ever hope to meet.

Things are looking up. I’ve been doing some graphic design work for our not-so-new church and that’s helped to bring in some money. Not much. But, it helps. Actually, that’s mostly responsible for me not bloggin’ before today. I had been working on the annual report for our church and that turned into a very time consuming project. But that’s been completed and distributed, so here I am.

Don’t worry. This blog…column…whatever you wish to call it…won’t be about my woes. Yeah, it’s been a tough year. A real tough year. Still is. But, I believe we’re better for it. But, no. The title is Eye on Toys and that’s what the focus is gonna be. Toys, toys and more toys. What’s new…what’s coming…stuff like that.

I may not have much money to my name right now, but I do have my eye on toys.

 Jeff
 

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My family lost one of our own earlier this week. Randy Presnell passed away on Monday morning. The exact family relationship is too convoluted to explain but he was my buddy, my pal, a father figure and a close friend.  He died peacefully in his sleep, and despite some recent health issues it was totally unexpected.  

He loved PEZ.  He had hundreds of PEZ dispensers -
Casper to Garfield to Batman to Star Wars to Bugs Bunny to Scooby Doo.  He loved ‘em.  He had them all over, and in a showcase, and many still sealed.  And the candy was everywhere.  He had other collectibles too, but man those PEZ were it.  Randy was many things…father, grandfather, husband, lover, friend.  He wasn’t perfect.  He was easygoing and stubborn and flaky and a pain in the ass and we all loved him for it.  He also thrived on the local sports teams; we would always talk about how great the Broncos look or how poor the Rockies played.  I watched the Avalanche and Ray Bourque win the Cup at his house while drinking beer and eating hot wings.  We talked about the Colorado Crush.  He gave us an enormous dragon kite for Xmas last year and my kids loved flying it this past summer.  We just spent a Saturday with him in Estes Park less than two weeks ago.  

Those are the things I am going to miss.  

It’s always hardest for the ones left behind, the ones that have to carry on and deal with the residual confusion and questions and inevitable regret.  You think that some individuals will be in your life always, no matter what happens.  You take them for granted.  You think that this person will be there through thick and thin.  It is shocking when the reality of life proves you wrong.   

I am pretty far down on the list of relatives, and I am devastated.  There are so many others grieving; I don’t know how to console those who are dealing with so much more pain than I am.  The toughest part are the questions they ask themselves, did I tell them how I felt? Did I say it enough?  Or the regret.  The silly, normal part of everyday life like erasing recent phone messages or cancelling dinner plans that now seem like devastating mistakes.  It’s easy to second guess every recent contact you did or did not make with that person.  It can eat you up inside, if you let it.  It’s tough to get beyond that.  I don’t know what to say to help the family find peace.  Thankfully, in this case, Randy knew how much his family loved him.  No matter what.  It didn’t need to be said like a rehearsed affirmation.  He knows we did, and we still do.

Life is fleeting.  Every day we think about others, that missed phone call or birthday and we tell ourselves its okay because we will send that card next week or write that email tonight – and tonight becomes tomorrow, then next week and then next month.  And it never gets done.  

So do it right now.  Take five minutes and write that email or letter or make that phone call.  Because you just never know.  

And go buy a PEZ.

Randy Presnell

1952 – 2006

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Well, here it is – for some crazy reason the nutjobs running this show decided to give me a public forum, a place where I can wax nostalgic and whim to my heart’s delight. 

So get ready for some waxing and whimming I guess.

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Hello again everyone and welcome to Tales of a Would’ve-Been Action Hero by other means.  As you are now aware, the AFI Columns section is no more.  It has evolved into a set of those latest existence-justifying, Do It Or You Don’t Count human activities, blogs. 

Can I get a Woot! in the name of progress just one time? 

No…? 

Onward.

This blog will literally begin where my column left off…

It was about three months ago, I hadn’t written a column for AFI in about six, and I wasn’t happy with my life as a collector.  As that was recurring theme of my column, I decided to let it all out in a piece about confession and catharsis and move on to happier, nerdier things.  I did that, but the AFI reboot got in the way and now here we are, months later, and some things have changed.

But not all.

And so I present to you the final edition of Tales of a Would’ve-Been Action Hero, the lost column, if you like, as it would have appeared had not the Otterization of AFI lead us to the bloggest land.  As you read, I’ll chime in with little editor’s notes to point out how things in my collecting life have changed since this column was written.  It’ll be just like your favorite comics!

…of 20 years ago.

In any event, here we go.

(The Lost) Tales of a Would-Been Action Hero #8

"They invade our space, and we fall back.  They assimilate entire worlds, and we fall back.  Not again.  The line must be drawn here!"
    -Captain Jean-Luc Picard, Star Trek: First Contact

In 1977, I got my first action figure.  I became a toy lover.

In 1993, I bought my first action figure as an adult.  I became a toy collector.

Sometime around 2000, I became a toy addict.

I am in recovery.

It’s been quite some time since we shared a visit.  When last we spoke, I was in the throes of another huge action figure purge following the realization there was just too much toy in my life.  That was almost a year ago.

Since then, much has changed.  I no longer own a single G.I. Joe figure (Not true, I’ve reconstituted my Sigma 6 collection. -JJJ).  I no longer own a single Masters of the Universe figure.  I no longer own any Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles figures (Re-bought a lot of those, too. -JJJ).  About a dozen other smaller collections have been cut out as well, and there is more to do.

The most surprising part?  I haven’t looked back.  Not even once. (You and I now know that’s not true. -JJJ)

You have a diamond.  Clear, glistening, beautiful.  In order to keep it safe, you put it in a little box.  You decide that’s not enough, so you put the little box into a bigger, stronger box.  Then you put that box in a bigger box with a lid and a lock.  Then you put that box in a chest.  Then you put the chest in a safe.  Then you put the safe in a vault.  Then you build a bunker around the vault.  Then you build a fence around the bunker.  Then you dig a moat around the fence.  Then you build a wall around the whole thing and you can see nothing but bricks.

That was my action figure collection.  A great wall so vast and monotonous it could only be comprehended as a singular entity.  No nuance, no facets, no individuality, and no joy.  My collection was one ugly, faceless whole.  I hated it, and I hated myself for allowing it to get that way.

Self-loathing, the mark of every relaxing hobby.

If we time travel back to my last column (Still posted in the Archive. -JJJ), we’ll find all my deep, dark collecting secrets.  I lied my way in, I bought things I knew I didn’t want, and so forth.  You knew that.  You also knew I was about to do violence to my collection and now you know I’ve done it.  What you don’t know is what I’ve learned from the experience, and that is this:

Collecting is addiction.

The collector mentality is anxious, insecure, competitive, jealous, rapacious, and has no memory whatsoever.  It does not look back fondly on where it’s been, it does not stop and consider its many treasures and bounties, the collector mentality only looks forward.  The next line, the next wave, the next resculpt, the next retool, the next repaint, the next variant, the next exclusive; that’s all the collector mentality wants.  And when it gets what’s next, whatever it is, the collector mentality will do everything possible to destroy it.

Next!    

That was me.  That’s how I thought, how I acted, and how I felt.  Looking at pictures of what was coming next was far more satisfying and titillating than actually going and buying the figures, let alone possessing them.  And why?

Because you can’t collect orgasms.  They’re here…and they’re gone.

The collector mentality wants the high of finding the toy, not the toy itself.  The collector mentality wants it first, not forever.  The collector mentality wants to trash it, not cherish it.  If I can find something wrong with this thing; its paint, its scale, its articulation, its likeness, then it is inferior and must be replaced.  One day I will find it, that perfect version of this thing.  Then I’ll be happy.  Then I’ll be satisfied.  Then I’ll be able to rest.

Until then, what’s next?

Here’s something I know now; maybe you already know it, maybe you don’t.

There is no perfection.  There is no figure you will ever buy that couldn’t be topped a year from now, that couldn’t be better in some small way.  Unless you can enjoy a figure for exactly what it is, you will never rest, you will never find what you’re looking for, you will never stop adding to your collection.  There will always be a next, but there will never be a best.

The collector mentality, the addict’s mentality, doesn’t want you to be happy.  It wants to be fed.

I made the decision recently to have one comic-based DC figure for each character.  One.  I turned to DC Direct’s Silver Age figures because, for me, they represent the iconic, Super Powers, versions of DC superheroes.  I have purchased 12 figures so far and I haven’t enjoyed building a collection, or DC superheroes, this much in years.

The collector’s mentality doesn’t want what was released three years ago; it wants what’s coming next month.

In a previous column, I talked about things I like any figure to have.  Holsters, jet packs, a square jaw; that sort of thing.  Last year I started collecting Chap-Mei’s Dino Valley and Wild Quest figures.  They are wonderful 3 3/4” scale figures of explorers, adventures, hunters, poachers, and all the animals and dinosaurs they encounter.  My favorite is Dino Valley’s Dr. Skinnybones McButt, leader of the evil poachers.  Skinnybones is very 1930s evil.  He looks like the kind of guy who would have tricked Tarzan into leading him to the elephant graveyard.  He’s pulp fiction; he’s what I like.  He also has the best active pistol holster I’ve ever seen at this scale and a place to hold his machete.  Skinnybones McButt, a little dinosaur, and several accessories cost me four dollars at KB Toyworks last year.

The collector mentality says Skinnybones is junk; he’s not even based on a cartoon.  And if he’s not based on anything, there’s nothing to compare him to.  There can’t be a next.

Dr. Skinnybones McButt exists as a standard unto himself.  Chew on that for a while.

I’ve no doubt you may see yourself in this column.  If you do, and you’re not happy about it, here are ten things I’ve learned in the last year.  I won’t be so presumptuous as to call them commandments.  Let’s call them:

Ten Ways Out of Toy Addiction

1. If you’ve got the money, and you don’t buy it the first time you see it, you don’t want it.  Never buy it.

2. Don’t ebay what’s on display because you need the space; you’ll re-buy it.

3. If you love figures you have stored more than you love what’s on display, ebay what’s on display and display what you have stored.

4. If you wouldn’t start a collection at full price, don’t start it because it’s on clearance.

5. A single attribute (articulation, sculpt, it has a jetpack) is never enough to buy a figure.  A single figure is never enough to start a collection.

6. If you wouldn’t buy it off a peg today, don’t buy it on ebay because you had it, or didn’t have it, as a kid.

7. If you love the comic/movie/show, but the figures don’t grab you, don’t buy them.  You’re still a legitimate fan of the comic/movie/show.

8. If two or more waves of a line you collect go by without a purchase, ebay what you have from that line.

9. If stored toys interfere with the operation of your closet, ebay until remedied. (Obviously, you can substitute "donate" for all these "ebay"s.  After I wrote this, it bothered me I didn’t include that . -JJJ)

And most succinctly:

10. If you don’t see yourself willing it to someone, don’t buy it.

I’ll see you on the other side.

When you get there, enjoy your diamond.

-Jason

Obviously, my reinvestment in Sigma 6 and Turtles undermines some of the steely resolve portrayed above, but it was disgust-driven zeal that lead to those lines’ ouster to begin with, so I don’t feel too badly about the regression.  I still believe in the ten things I cited and they’ve served me well.

Anyway, that is how TOAWBAH (hey, that’s almost word-like): The Column ended. 

Here begins TOAWBAH: The Blog.

Long live it.

-JJJ

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