|| dΣ ~ S2 || Ω ~ R x Σ ||
This past weekend I was confounded by a rift I discovered in my personal spacetime continuum. My learned AFi colleague, xrmc20, helped me to define the law of physics that has been responsible for diverting countless hours from the lives of geek-populi. Its definition can be explained best by recounting the circumstances responsible for its unique appellation . . .
|| 01.15.2010 || 11:34.AM ||
Geek Cultural Physicist Dr. CantinaDan Neumann receives an email from Hot Topic announcing a ”50% Off Clearance Items” sale. Dr. Neumann examines Hot Topic web site for specimens of interest and stumbles upon an entry cataloged as “G.I. Joe Bazooka Jersey T-Shirt.” Dr. Neumann suffers spaz attack and places order. Levels of spaz in blood stream remain high impelling Dr. Neumann to:
1 || excavate vintage Bazooka action figure
2 || rewatch episode of G.I. Joe Resolute wherein Bazooka dies
3 || youtube classic G.I. Joe episodes in which Bazooka appears
4 || scour old Marvel G.I. Joe comics for inclusions of Bazooka
5 || prepare blog entry for posterity
Needless to say, the earth did not stop spinning whilst I was engaged in the above outlined activities. The next day I described my experience to fellow Geek Cultural Physicist Dr. xrmc20 and he replied with the following insight:
“ You fell down the Bazooka Wormhole. What’s it look like on the other side? ”
It looks like I didn’t get all my chores done this weekend, Dr. X. Now, I venture to guess that many of you have likewise fallen into Bazooka Wormholes. The subject matter can vary greatly but the course of events is similar. A specific aspect of geek culture catches your fancy and before you know it you have exhausted every square centimeter of errata related to this parent specimen. You do not stop for nourishment until you have achieved professorial status in that particular niche subject. You may employ Excel spreadsheets. You may max out your eBay watch list. You may acquire a set of bootleg DVDs. You may sketch an information architecture. Yes, there is much in the way of observational evidence that you’ve fallen into a Bazooka Wormhole. Please expound upon your own unique symptoms.
Early hypotheses speculated that time stands still in the origin dimension while you explore the child universe. My experience proves it does not. Evidence: Mrs. Dr. CantinaDan’s dismay that the floor did not get vacuumed in a reasonable time period juxtaposed to the point she finished dusting. And thus the dangers of traversing a Bazooka Wormhole.