Dear Matty,

It is because we’re such good friends I feel I can tell you the truth.

You are a drug dealer.  We are your addicts.

 

As you no doubt remember, I don’t patronize your website anymore; you made it plain to me you don’t want my money, but that doesn’t mean I don’t watch each month as many of my fellows wallow in agony over your continued failure to provide even a nominal level of customer service. 

Today, your failure extended beyond its normal parameters to include the new feature whereby your website continued to refresh even after customers fought tooth and claw to reach the promised land of a simple order page or item description, denying them your merchandise in yet another way.  Many, it would appear, grew so frustrated with your absolute bottle-necked, emaciated, shriveled-up prune of an interface, they left empty-handed even before your usual Over Before The Sale Starts sellouts.  In fact, as of this writing, today’s items are still available, so I suppose the backslapping grinnery and Facebooking over your latest perceived success will have to wait a few more minutes.

Before you celebrate, I just want to make a few things clear to you, since it seems the voices of so many are difficult for you to hear…

Your website exists for two reasons; the pathological predilection for nostalgia ingrained in most collectors and the artistry of four sculptors.  That’s it.  Absent either of those things MattyCollector.com would have gone the way of OHMyGodCheapNewFiguresOrWhateverTheHellItWasCalled.com three months after it opened.  There is nothing about the way the website is run, or the product managed, that can be credited with the site’s success.  Nothing.

Just wanted to get that straight.

 

However, by falling ass backwards over your own incompetence, you’ve got your market crawling over its own dead and dying for the hot, new plastic because you’ve told them they have to do exactly that or you’ll cut off their supply.  At this point, you know what you’re doing and you’re doing it on purpose.

And that’s shameful.

I know the company at-large has about as much interest in, and ability to hear, these words as the paper mache head does, so I know who I’m really talking to, and so do you.  If you’re what you say you are, I don’t understand how any of this is OK with you.

And now the other side…

If far too many collectors didn’t have a rapacious need to Have It Now, and far more importantly, Have It First, MattyCollector.com would die twisting on the vine.  Think what would happen if Amazon treated its customers this way…or if Matty had to sell to parents.  Is there any question both ventures would cease to exist under the conditions which Matty currently operates?

And so, my fellows, once you know that, you know what Matty does to you every month is purposely done to ensure you do exactly what you do every month.  I don’t know how that’s OK with you.

It’s not OK with me, and I’m not even buying the stuff.

-JJJ

PS: Matty, don’t ever offer a WWE exclusive on your site.  You are not prepared for wrestling nerds.


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