Evolutions: Wicket
February 1, 2011

Recent primatological findings lend support to the theory that humans evolved, not from an ape-like ancestor, but from Ewoks. The dominant view amongst scientists concerning the origin of anatomically modern humans is the "Out of Endor" hypothesis. It is estimated that Humans and Wookies branched off from their common hominid ancestor, the Ewok, about 5 – 7 million years ago. Or, in the vernacular: a long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away.

As a young anthropologist I was enamoured by the more diminutive specimens amongst parumplasticus populus (little plastic people). If we were to confine our focus to the vintage Star Wars line, my scientific fascination most often rested with representatives such as Yoda, R2-D2, Jawa, Snaggletooth, and, of course, Wicket. In fact, vintage Wicket remains one of my favorite parumplasticus populus of all time. Unfortunately, the 1998 POTF version suffered from sub par DNA, a malady common to many Star Wars figures of that era. Finally, 12 years later, a much superior Wicket specimen has emerged from Hasbro’s Fertile Crescent. More reminiscent of its original ancestor, this modern incarnation includes all the highly evolved traits of the contemporary Star Wars species: amazing, well-incorporated articulation, proper scale and proportion, accurate and detailed sculpting and paint apps.

 fig 1. ewokethicus davisota, "Wicket W. Warrick" 

 

 fig 2a. Ewok species, Wicket genus, distributed through time 
 fig 2b. non-articulated lineage

 

Tell me that looking at these slides you don’t feel some hint of common genetic relationship with Wicket the Ewok. Comforting, no? Sing with me: Yub nub, eee chop yub nub…

 

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Danny "CantinaDan" Neumann
Action figure anthropologist, Professor Cantina Dan Neumann has been a scholastic contributor to the online community studying the complex world of parumplasticus populus {little plastic people} since the turn of this millenium. His primary focus is the visual cataloging of species exhibits through photo-journalism.
Read other articles by Danny "CantinaDan" Neumann.

 

 

 

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