i wasnt the one who started it publicly man.

if anything i said was obscene and abusive then i apologise to whoever it may have offended.

fair enough
your forum your rules your way you made it you rule it i understand thats the way it is i get that now ill try to not be so hateful or obscene in future although if what i post comes across as hateful then i may not be sometimes aware of that or intend it to come across in that way.

and in reference to cepheus comment which i found offensive yes i do and can learn from things people have said for example ive just learned something just now about rules and posting on things on the forum so in fact i can learn things.

and i do like the forum and have no problem with james or anyone ill openly admit i got a bit annoyed with what cepheus posted to me as i felt that it made me out to look stupid and was a tiny bit hurtful so i may have posted a bit angrily after that so i apologise for that i was most probably a bit out of line my bad there.

i hope in the future we can all get along as virtually everyone i have spoken to on here ive enjoyed and learned things from and its been a lot of fun especially seeing pics of everyones collections and stuff so obviously i wouldnt like to be banned from here but all i can do is apologise and promise in future to try and pay more attention to the way i word things

i am actually quite a nice person and i genuinely dont believe that i was being really hateful or anything towards james perhaps the other guy was but james thinks i was so im sorry that you do so james and i apologise but i was not trying to be hurtful towards you personally.

i love all you guys

That was a good read and very relevant personally. I wrote something very similar not long ago on my site.

Here's the link if you want to check it out, http://geekvariety.tumblr.com/post/2669 ... -innocence

Toy collecting was always something I loved then it became something very damaging which I've since gotten under complete control thankfully.

Thanks for sharing this insight.

This really is a terrific topic, and I'm so glad to see so many AFIers contribute to it. I've more than once glanced at our forum and thought "Hmmm...do any of us put too much importance on these toys, and their place in our lives?"

I can say this - I've spent more money than I should have on toys. I definitely need to stay vigilant about my priorities. I think that's probably true of most of us.

That said, I have no desire to fill rooms with toys and I'm not a "completist". I've always made it a point to consider my purchases carefully, and make sure I'm not just buying something to "make myself feel better" about something else. Toys don't fill the void anymore than food or drugs or any other addiction can. And keeping an eye out to make sure you're not filling an emotional void is so key to making sure a hobby doesn't become a crutch.

I went through a long period where I didn't buy toys (maybe 4 in a year?) and looking back on that time (now that I've been buying more) I'd probably say that I had my priorities more in-line when I wasn't spending time, effort and money thinking about plastic figures. I got ahead in my life a bit more then, and didn't think about figures often if at all. So it's all about balance.

While I know shame and embarrassment are part of collecting toys (Nerd alert!), I do really like being able to see other people's collections, and discussing the habit here. There have been tons of times where seeing someone else's collection has made me feel just as good as if I had one like it myself.

I suspect I'll always be partial to toys in some way, but I also feel confident that pretty soon I'll be done with collecting them on a semi-regular basis (since my interests are pretty limited in terms of lines and properties). After all, it really adds up.

And to my credit, I actually stopped myself from starting to collect a new line a few months back, when some figures popped up and were inexpensive. I said "No, I don't care nearly enough to make room for these in my life." So I didn't



Such a great read, Geek. Thank you for sharing. These bits popped out at me:

dead weight...

...seeing them and reading about them brings me much more pleasure than having them clog up my environment.

...the “run” was a route I devised to maximize the amount of stores I could hit in a certain amount of time with the most efficient effort to find as many new toys as possible....

...my life had changed with this person and sadly the things I should have changed for her I didn’t and they ended up playing a part in our eventual downfall....


The term "dead weight" is just such a powerful one. We all have "dead weight" in our lives, and maybe it's a shoe collection, and maybe it's the time we spend doing crossword puzzles, or obsessively cleaning house, or buying things...but jotting down on paper how we spend our money, and how we spend our time is so helpful. It can show us that what we think we need can be replaced with something that serves multiple purposes and doesn't have as high a price.

I smiled at "the run". I'm pretty sure I do that on vacation. Actually, I KNOW I do Always want to hunt down some small shop where I can find a figure. Most times, though, I don't end up buying anything. It's fun, but it's also a solitary thing, typically, which is kind of sad.

From the sounds of your list of things you sold off in your purge, you clearly did have an unhealthy need to collect...but I question the blame you seem to put on yourself for not stopping "for her". I've asked people who love me to stop doing things for me before, and as much as they've wanted to, they usually couldn't or didn't. I'm going to guess your ex saw it as a problem because of the money, time and physical space it took up...and sure, that's valid. But resenting you for having a "safe place" that you protected, at the expense of moving forward? That's...not really very understanding. So, don't tell yourself you pushed her away by not complying with her request to end the hobby. Instead, forgive yourself by understanding that even if you HAD purged all your stuff, the relationship might still have ended. And ultimately, you needed support to get over this hurdle. I'm glad you were able to find it within yourself.

Lastly, the term "purge". It bugs me. This isn't about you as much as in general. If you binge, fine, you've binged. It happened and purging it (whether food from your body, or toys from your system) isn't fixing it. So I feel badly that you forced yourself to part with everything. It's much more healthy to pick out the things that do still matter to you...but then, maybe you needed a drastic change, the way some people move to different cities. I just find that people who sell off entire collections typically regret it and eventually restart (as you have). As long as you set the limits and remind yourself of the importance of them, you'll be fine.

Toys are nice, but going out into the world and asking for the things that will really make you happy, and working towards them - that's wonderful. Toys will outlive us, but the memories we make by leading our own lives, happily, that's much more rare and precious, no?

For the link it now says URL not found, but I liked reading Disneyboy's analysis.

Unlike DisneyBoy though, it doesn't make me happy to look at pictures of other peoples' collections, it actually makes me sad. Whenever I see collection pictures I can't help but to imagine the person dead and their family going through it all.

Wow.

That's really dark, James.

I bet you're a lot of fun at parties.

That's great!

.

Hmm...that's odd. In any case, he was simply retelling the story of how his hobby turned into an obsession, and how someone he loved dearly for a long time eventually left, in part due to the toys. So he purged them, and is now back collecting again but in a more controlled way. I think that's the whole story, from what I recall...



LOL! Okay so, yeah, there is the "what happens after they die?" question, but what I meant was watching an action figure review video on youtube, or seeing other people pose their figures and take photos...it allows me to experience the toys without having to plunk down money for them. In the same way you might watch a 5 minute movie review and then skip watching the movie itself. For example, I collect JLU toys, but I don't have a complete collection the way others do. I chose not to get some figures, and if I ever start to feel like I missed out, I can just look at someone else's photos and feel fine about it. I think half the fun of collecting toys as an adult is figure photography

If you're talking about people with MOC collections, and rooms in their houses that look like toy stores...then...yeah. Yeah that I do find a bit depressing, if I'm being honest, but I try not to judge. There are people with huge book collections...while that may be viewed as more high brow and intellectual, it's still a huge collection that takes up space for emotional reasons, right? So I always try not to judge.

Disneyboy - Thanks for taking the time to read my little write up. Its good to get feedback and know people find common ground in our chosen hobby and life experience.

As far as the relationship stuff goes it was a lot more complicated obviously but the collecting became her focus of anger, it was the thing she keyed on and would focus on when conflict came up between us. But that's another story all together

Not sure why the link stopped working but if anyone is interested here it is again http://geekvariety.tumblr.com/post/2669 ... -491986875

I don't regret selling off my collection much, sometimes I do but barely. I am the type that when I make change its swift and strong, no messing about, but I know what you mean. I miss the times I had with friends who I shared collecting with more than the things, cause things just weigh you down and end up owning you in the end so getting rid of all that stuff was something I needed/wanted to do and ended up being the right choice for me personally.

Thanks again for your feedback, it is appreciated.

I'm glad to hear you feel you made the right choice for yourself I've had times like that too, when I've gotten fed up with something and just changed it and never looked back. It's very empowering.

I think for me, I hold onto some boxes and packaging out of the fear that should I one day sell the item, it'll be worth more with the box or something. Which is pretty silly - I don't buy stuff I intend to sell off for profit, because I know that's not really a profitable thing anyway. My point though is that there's an element of fear involved. The "oh no - I'll regret throwing this out!" That bothers me, but I know that extends far beyond my toy collecting hobby.