"The Lighthouse" Review
February 28, 2010

















“The Lighthouse” Review

We see poorly photoshopped photos of Jack and his parents, Jack and his proud papa, Christian. Jack’s there, too. He’s at his house in ATL LA Land. He checks a mark on his abdomen.
His mom calls, following up on his dad’s lost body. Jack doesn’t know where it is Oceaniac thinks it maybe in Berlin. Maybe Christian went to the Kit Kat Club.. Jack asks her when he had his appendix out. She says when he was seven, maybe eight. Dad wanted to take it out but they wouldn’t let him. Jack has to go, ma dukes.
Jack drives to pick up a young boy at St. Mary’s Academy. Jack has a son that is a tween. Did I miss something? When was there ever a kid mentioned before? Jack apologizes for being late. Son seems used to it. He’s one of those silent, angry kids that only ever got time-outs.

At the Temple, Dogen and Jack are hanging out like friends. I guess all that roughhousing brought them closer together. Nothing like swallowing poison to bring people together.
Dogen’s glad Jack didn’t leave, although he would have stopped him anyway, he says. Dogen asks if Jack’s friends are coming back. Jack says probably not. They appreciate each other’s honesty.
In the courtyard, Miles and Hugo play tic tac toe. It’s another tie. Hurley says he wants to eat. There’s no fat joke here, which in itself is a form of fat joke. As Hugo walks by the Dirty Hot Dog Water Of Life, he asks some crouched-down dude if there’s a kitchen or something nearby. Crouched-down dude is Jacob!

Jacob has stuff to tell Hugo, stuff he’s gonna have to write down. Someone is coming to the island, and Jacob needs Hugo to help him find it.


Back in Jack-Has-A-Son LA, Jack tries to make small talk with his son David. Jack says he hooked up the cable, the Red Sox are on. David is nonplussed. Jack sees The Annotated Alice, tells David he used to read it to him. David remains nonplussed. Jack tries to talk more, but David shuts him down. Apparently he doesn’t see Jack that often and would rather just get through this visit without all the pleasantries. Maybe he doesn’t remember Jack having a kid either.

At the temple, Sayid asks Jack about the pill. Jack tells him that it was poison, explains that the Others think something crazy happened to Sayid, and that’s because it happened to someone else. “Who?” asks Sayid. But Jack doesn’t answer. THE TIME FOR QUESTIONS IS OVER…unless you’re Sayid.
Hugo snoops around the Temple, checking notes from the Jacob conversation he scrawled on his arm, looking at carvings on the walls. He seems to find the right one when Dogen shows up and wants to know what’s doing. “Nothing. I’m just, you know, looking because I’m a fan of temples, and like, history…Indiana Jones stuff.”

Dogen tells him to go back to the courtyard. Jacob appears and tells Hugo to tell him he can do what he wants, he’s a candidate. Hugo tells Dogen he’s a candidate, he can do what he wants. Dogen gets big eyes like Godzilla is attacking the temple. Dogen asks who told him that. Hugo says, “Doesn’t matter. Why don’t YOU go back to the courtyard?”
Dogen speaks in Japanese with great disdain and leaves. Hugo asks what he said; Jacob says he doesn’t want to know. Jacob asks Hugo why he didn’t bring Jack like he told him to. Hugo complains about having to write everything down and lie to a samurai, explains the challenge of getting Jack to do anything, but says he’s open to ideas. Jacob smiles. Awesome.

So, in the funniest sequence of the show, Hurley goes to Jack and tells him to act natural. He says to wait ten seconds and follow him to a secret tunnel into the jungle. Jack could not be less interested. Hurley says Jacob knew Jack would say that, and that he told him to tell Jack, “You have what it takes.” Jack get up, mad as hell. He wants to talk to Jacob. Hurley says he’s dead, he just shows up sometimes like Obi-Wan Kenobi, but Jacob will be where they’re going. Now Jack is in.

Jin wakes up at a small camp in the jungle. He calls for Claire, but there’s no Claire there. He props himself up with an oar and looks around the camp. He uncovers something weird looking.
It’s weird. It looks like some animal bones and rags put together. Is this supposed to be Aaron? Couldn’t Claire have made a sock monkey or something? This proves she’s not only turned to the dark side, but she’s nuts to boot.
Claire shows up with one of the Others, Justin, who played dead. She’s acting crazy. Or is Claire kind of on point, I wonder? They’re going out of their way to make us think Claire is crazy and infected, so I have to wonder if they’re tricking us a bit here. Or I’m just a sucker for crazy people who live outdoors.
We join Jack and Hurley in the jungle. Jack sees Kate by the water and calls out to her. She turns on him with her gun out, but doesn’t shoot him. They flirt and make small talk. Kate’s looking for Claire. Hurley tells her about the secret tunnel, but she’s not interested. Jack invites Kate on their mission, but Hurley says she’s not invited. “I’m inviting her,” says Jack. Kate doesn’t want to join, but wishes them good luck finding stuff and heads off into the jungle.
ALT LA, Jack and his mom talk as they comb through Dad’s office. They can’t find his will. Mom says David was upset at the funeral. Jack didn’t know. Mom says bad communication runs in the family. We already know about Jack and Christian, we get it. Mom finds the will; she asks Jack if he knows anything about a Claire Littleton. Jack looks puzzled, as though he knows the name from somewhere, but can’t place it. I bet it’s Jack’s sister Claire from Lost!
Back in Camp Crazy Claire, Justin tries to persuade Jin to free him so that he can snap Claire’s when she returns. Jin thinks about it, but Claire comes back and interrupts. She stitches Jin’s mangled leg up. Claire wants to get Aaron back from the Others. Justin says they don’t have him. Claire says they do, because her father told her, and her friend told her. Your friend? “My friend.” Your friend. Jin is all stitched up. Claire proceeds to walk over to Justin, brandishing her axe which she has just sharpened. “Okay, now it’s your turn.”
Hurley and Jack walk through the jungle. Hurley apologizes for “wrecking your game with Kate.” Hurley wonders what’s up with those two, he saw a real future there, kids and junk. Jack says he’s not cut out for it, he’d make a terrible dad. Until this episode, we didn’t even know he was a dad.
We’re at the caves! Hurley sees the old skeleton couple and ponders, what if we time-traveled back to dinosaur times? What if those skeletons are us? Jack is preoccupied with his dad’s old coffin. He tells Hurley about the time he followed his father’s ghost into the caves and smashed up the coffin that was dadless.
Back in ALT LA, Jack gets home and sees no David. He calls him on the phone and hears no David. He goes to Mom’s house–who’s Mom? Kate? Ilana? Rose?–but there’s no one there. He checks messages, hears one from himself to David, and one about a conservatory audition.
On the island, Hurley and Jack walk through the jungle. “This is cool, dude. Very old school.” What, says Jack. “You know, you and me, trekking through the jungle, on our way to do something that we don’t quite understand. Good times.” For real! Hurley asks Jack why he came back. Jack asks Hurley the same thing. Hurley tells the Jacob-in-the-cab story. Hurley asks again. Jack says he came back because he was broken, and he was stupid enough to think this place could fix him. “Dude, I’m sorry,” says Hurley. Awkward! They’re almost there.
And now they’re there. The Lighthouse.

Jack doesn’t get why they never seen it before. “Guess we weren’t looking for it,” says Hurley. Or, maybe the writers just dreamed it up for this season.
Back at Claire’s place, Claire wants Aaron answers. Justin says they don’t have him. Jin tries to calm Claire down. Claire tells Jin that they took her to the Temple, branded her, stuck her with needles and would have killed her if she hadn’t escaped. Justin keeps trying to reason with Claire, but she’s starting to swing the ax around a bit. Jin stops her. He tells her Kate took Aaron, that Aaron is off the island, that Aaron is three. Claire cries a little. Justin asks her to untie him. Nope. Axe to the chest!
At the Lighthouse, Hurley tries to open the door but it’s jammed. Jack kicks the door in on some “beat Jacob’s ass” aggro Jack business. You know how he do.
Back in Mr. Shephard’s Opus, David is rocking his audition. The piano music is drowned out by Lost music and sappy Jack. “Is that your son?” a boy asks Jack. He tells Jack that David is really good. The boy walks over to his father. His father! Is! Dogen!
“They are too young to have this kind of pressure, aren’t they?”
“Yes, yes they are,” says Jack. But Jack can’t keep up with the conversation about David’s gift and how long he’s been playing…because he doesn’t know how long he’s been playing. The script for the ATL is incomplete.
At the Lighthouse, Hurley and Jack are in the old-timey, wheel-and-mirrors lighthouse light control light room. They have to crank the thing to 108 degrees. Crank that Lighthouse mirror! As the mirrors turn, Jack sees weird stuff in them. Then Jack notices that everyone’s name is on the lighthouse light wheel. Including, most importantly, his own. Time to make it all about Jack! He tells Hurley to turn it to his name. Jack sees the house he grew up in as a child! In the mirror. Jack wants to know why Jacob has been spying on him. Hurley has no clue. Jack gets louder and louder as he yells at Hurley about this freaky situation. But Hurley doesn’t know. Jack finally snaps, grabs the telescope and smashes the mirrors! Smash! Smash! Jack failed recess, he does not play well with others and he runs with sissors.
Back in ATL, outside after the audition, David is getting his bike together when Jack shows up. “You were great in there.” David is shocked to see him. Jack didn’t even know he was still playing. David says he made Mom promise not to tell Jack, because Jack got too into it. David says he didn’t want Jack to see him fail. Jack says he took a lot of crap from his dad, that his dad told him he didn’t have what it takes. Jack tells David that he will always love him, that David will never fail. Jack just wants to be part of his life. Things are getting very emotional around here. Jack says he has pizza back at the house. David is like, you a doctor, why we gotta eat old pizza son.
Meanwhile, back at the Lighthouse, Jacob returns to Hugo! Jacob is nonplussed. Hugo is mad as hell that nothing worked out with Jack, the lighthouse in helping someone to get to the island. Jacob just glances over at Jack, who is sitting on the rocks in the distance, staring out at the sea and apparently feeling sorry for himself.
“Wait a minute,” realizes Hugo. “Did you want Jack to see what was in that mirror?” Jacob protests not. “Why?”

“It was the only way for him to understand how important he is,” says Jacob. Hugo says that plan backfired. Jacob is like, nah son. “Jack is here because he has to do something. He can’t be told what that is. He’s got to find it himself. Sometimes you can just hop in the back of someone’s cab and tell them what they’re supposed to do. Other times, you have to let him look out at the ocean for a while.”
Hugo asks if he can get the info up front next time. Jacob explains the need for secrecy. “I had to get you and Jack as far away from that temple as I possibly could.” What? Why? “Because someone is coming there. Someone bad.” Hugo wants to warn them. “You can’t warn them, Hugo. I’m sorry. It’s too late.”

Back to Claire and Jin. She asks why he said Kate was raising Aaron. “I was lying,” says Jin. He says it was to save Justin’s life, but that Claire is right, the Others have her baby. “Aaron is at the Temple. I know because I saw him there. But you’ll need me to get to him.”
How’s that gonna happen, asks Claire? “There’s a secret way. No one will see us.” Claire thanks Jin. She also says that if Kate was raising Aaron, she’d kill her.
We hear a voice. “Am I interrupting?”
Holey Smoke! It’s Locke!!
Jin craps his pants. “John?”
Claire hits Jin with the C’mon Son face. “That’s not John. This is my friend.”
Locke smiles at her, then looks at Jin.

Wow! That was a wild ride. The Lighthouse sure was cool, I have a feeling we’ll be seeing that again sometime when we time-travel back to the good ol’ days. And Jin certainly has a interesting crew to roll with. And seeing Jack and Dogen intersect in the ATL was interesting. Plus we had Jacob and Smokey Smoke in the same episode, albeit not interacting with each other…yet. Well, hold on. Do we know for sure that’s Jacob? Could it be someone else? Hmm.

Glenn Moss

Born in 1952 (you do the math), making me one of the proverbial “old farts” involved in toys, comic books, and other juvenile activities that everyone said I should have outgrown decades ago. Fortunately, my wife of 36 years is an understanding soul. A firm believer in the philosophy of Groucho Marx, George Carlin, Robin Williams and Chris Rock.

Am now indoctrinating my grandchildren to carry on so that when I finally fade away there will be another generation of odd neighbors who seemed nice and kept to themselves.

Read other articles by Glenn Moss.




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