Told by an Idiot…
January 31, 2011

I consider myself rather misanthropic. Or at least I try to be. I find most people annoying, especially when you get to know them. Don’t get me wrong I can hate people on a purely superficial level but where’s the fun in that? You can’t really bad-mouth strangers? Well, you can, but I’m pretty sure that’s just racism.

One thing I do like is film. I love movies, I go to the movies often, as often as I possibly can. So far this year I’ve watched some lovely films, such as: The Illusionist, Biutiful, and a handful more that I’ve quite enjoyed. But, when it comes to movies and people, one thing I hate, is people complaining about how terrible movies are or how terrible they can be. You know what, don’t go. Don’t go, please. Because if you can’t tell a movie is going to be terrible going into it, then really you shouldn’t be judging movies.

You hear people complain constantly about how movie trailers ruin the movie, telling you too much information or giving away the ending or “twist” or “spoilers” or whatever geeks get annoyed about. But you see that’s a good thing, I can usually tell how terrible a movie is going to be by watching the trailers, that’s how I avoid terrible movies. When I first saw the trailer for the film “No Strings Attached”, I knew instantly, “I’m not going to see this.” When you watch a trailer and you make the now classic “I can’t wait.” or “I’ll be the first in line.” sarcastic comment, hopefully you are sticking to your insincerity. If not, then you sir(or madam) are a moron.

I mean when we all saw this:


We knew it was going to suck. Hard. Come on, you don’t deserve a refund if you saw the movie. If you watched it in irony, then you had a better reason than anybody else. It is after all a movie about Scientology (although one cannot accuse them of not having an imagination). Inversely, when I first saw this trailer:


I was pretty much right about how awesome it was going to be, some may disagree, but then again you’re probably some form of autistic that can’t process film aesthetics and prefer to watch window treatments.
There are those that firmly stand by the “You can’t judge a book by its cover” argument. To them I say, I’m pretty sure you can. If Fabio is on the cover, the name Faulkner is not. Plus, I usually judge my books by page and picture count or if it says Nicholas Sparks or Holy Bible on it.

My point is, I think, that if we all became harsher movie trailer critics, maybe, just maybe, we wouldn’t have bad movies and in turn would have more intelligent people. Now I understand if that may seem like a stretch but it could work and in my purview the world would be a better place. A place where I would be kinder to people. I wouldn’t be so judgemental and more open and maybe forgiving. Dare I dream, a world where the name Tyler Perry may never precede the title of anything be it movie, play or book. Although, I would LOVE to see a Tyler Perry video game, like a Grand Theft Auto where Madea pulls people out of cars and takes them to church. What a wonderful world this would be…


Cesar Zamora
Born and raised in El Paso, TX. I grew up collecting and displaying toys. My love for action figures has only been strengthened by the fact that the internet provides a community to share that love with. I currently reside in Los Angeles, CA freelance writing and buying too many toys.
Read other articles by Cesar Zamora.





  • The Penguin says:

    Aside from chronic immaturity, which is a given around here, you seem to be suffering from a false sense of self-importance and entitlement. Please quit blogging.

    • Cesar Zamora Cesar "Masked Avenger" Zamora says:

      Really? Wow. I clearly offended or at the very least annoyed you. Can I ask what I said specifically that you didn’t like? I’d love to know. Seriously.

      • John Cage says:

        Following up on what Penguin said, you just came off kind of full of yourself, saying that if people were more discriminating about their movie selections they’d be smarter for it. Hey, I agree that some of the crap that draws an audience baffles me — future generations will probably write books about why Alvin and the Chipmunks was a hit — but you can’t blame folks for enjoying schlock, and you’re off if you think folks should know better than to see a movie based on it’s trailer. If that were true I wouldn’t have seen “Snake Eyes” back in the day — terrible movie, excellent trailer (although to be fair I was 14 and it was the late 90s).

        It probably didn’t help that you started off talking about how much you hate most people. Also, the bit about people having some form of autism if they don’t get the awesomeness of “District 9” was kind of a dick thing to say. And if I’m really getting into it, your writing got a little muddied and unclear at times. But I’m not going to say you should “quit blogging” or that “chronic immaturity” is a bad thing — I mean, a guy calling himself “The Penguin” on an action figure news website said that, so there you go.

        Have a good day.
        John Cage

        • Cesar Zamora Cesar "Masked Avenger" Zamora says:

          Can you explain muddied? And you had me at “Snake Eyes” and lost me at 14 years old. Good point, then you had to ruin it. Also, I firmly stand by my District 9 sentiment. Not going to take that one back. And yes I am full of myself, I’m proud of who I am and proud to show it. Plus I live in NYC, it’s okay to hate everybody here, we all get along because we all hate one another, it works. And remember, I understand that it’s nearly impossible to think that people and movies will somehow both get smarter, they probably won’t, but like MLK before me, I too have a dream and just wanted to share. Yes a man that admittedly hates others just compared himself to the great Dr./Rev., deal with it.

          • Jason JJJason says:

            Are these wrestling promos, or…?


          • John Cage says:

            “Can you explain muddied?”

            It was by the third paragraph that things got unclear. I had to read it a few times to get your point, and even then you were all over the place.

            Sorry the bit at the end of the Snake Eyes point blew it for you — just added that in case someone out there happened to enjoy that film. I mean, I thought it was inane tripe, but that doesn’t mean someone else couldn’t have gotten a kick out of it. I suppose I undercut myself, but that’s my Canadian humility showing. Although I suppose bringing that up as a point of semi-pride undercuts that last bit as well. Huh.

            Either way, at least we can agree on how terrible “Battlefield Earth” is.

            Have a good day.
            John Cage

  • Howard the Duck says:

    All I know is that the two absolute worst movies ever made are Batman and Robin, and X-Men: The Last Stand. Saw them both once and only once.

  • Robb says:

    I think having to sit through a really terrible movie heightens the enjoyment of watching something that’s truly great.

  • demoncat says:

    one should relize without a bad movie some of the times film makers would not strive to improve and make good. films and thus movie goers would not be able to deterimine if they made a mistake of battle field earth proportions .

  • Fallen Eldor says:

    Megazord Vs Gatorade or what ever “syfy” is calling it is a recent and great example of what they “should” have done with Battlefield Earth.
    It Might have been the next Buckaroo Banzi in the right hands. You can have “good” bad films if you create them with just the right amount of self awareness.

    As for Judging a trailer before watching the Movie I have to disagree.
    I thought Batman Begins was going to be great. At best it was Ok.
    Same for Superman Returns. It wasn’t bad, just boring. It is important to keep in mind that directors don’t always have control on how trailers are cut. From my understanding the new Green Hornet isn’t as humorous as the trailer presents. I’ve yet to see it so I can’t say that for my self yet.


    What way did you intend for the following to be interpreted?
    “I usually judge my books by page and picture count or if it says Nicholas Sparks or Holy Bible on it”

    Honestly I had to google that guy. He seams a popular seller and well reviewed upon first glance. Have to admit I never knew a dude wrote all those chick flicks. Are you saying that anything written by Sparks is guaranteed to be a chick flick? If so, then yeah, that is a fair statement. That doesn’t equate to quality. Same for the Bible. What exactly are you saying?

  • Cesar Zamora Cesar "Masked Avenger" Zamora says:

    The Green Hornet is okay, pretty fun and has some good action. The concept is what makes it good, “What if Batman is kind of full of it and Robin is the actual badass?” So they play that to the hilt. Not amazing but fun. I meant that I would avoid those types of books, not read them. I thought that was clear but can see how it could be confusing. I’m just glad I’m getting some decent feed back and conversation out of this blog and not the strange negativity from The Penguin. I looked at his posts on the forum, also pretty negative. A bit of a troll, so I’m okay not getting a response. Thanks for reading.

  • Fallen Eldor says:

    Well your tone is a bit combative to be honest. I had to edit my post before I hit submit to sound less argumentative. I like how you describe the Green Hornet/Kato relationship. Their is a reason it was known at the “Kato show” in Hong Kong LoL. You probably should read the bible, as it has more drama, blood, sex, violence and epic special effects then anything Hollywood has Produced. I recommend the standardized King James version, as God is just more badass when he sounds like Thor!

    Judges 15:16
    “And Samson said, With the jawbone of an ass, heaps upon heaps, with the jaw of an ass have I slain a thousand men.” Hebrew translation of “Hasta la vista, baby”. As a Christan I’m also contractually obligated to inform you that if you don’t like Jesus we can’t hang out in heaven and watch red carpet premiers. Jesus has the hooks up man. He’ll even spring for soda and popcorn. just keep in mind we all have to share the same bucket. 🙂

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