Where the heck are the toys???
April 24, 2008

We are truly living in a golden era of toys.

The stalwart lines of Marvel, DC, Star Wars and GI Joe are offering unprescidented character selection and excellent quality figures and vehicles. Old favorites like Megos and Captain Action are getting another chance at getting on the market. Every major genre movie this summer like Dark Knight, Iron Man, Prince Caspian and Indiana Jones has toy representation. Video games like The Force Unleashed, Halo and Metal Gear are getting figures based on their characters. Even shows and comics that would have never got a second look in the past by toy companies like the Goon and Aqua Teen Hunger Force are being turned into figures.

Despite all of this, there are two current licenses that continue to go without action figure representation (and it mystifies me):

Venture Brothers

How can I describe the Venture Brothers to someone who has never seen it? OK,. here goes:

It’s the adventures of an adult (who has grown up into a weasel) Johnny Quest and his two slightly retarded sons. Who try to solve mysteries. And are clones. Their robot talks like Beeker from the Muppet Show. And they have a murderous bodyguard named Brock Samson who only kills with his hands (or knife). His girlfriend is named Molotov Cocktease. And Venture’s arch-enemy is named the Monarch who looks kind of like Killer Moth. (He was raised by butterflies) And the Monarch’s girlfriend, who is named Dr. Girlfriend, sounds like a man. 

I’m not making this stuff up. 

This Adult Swim series is chock-ful of pop culture references, over the top violence and is completely hilarious. For the love of God, where is a Brock Samson figure?

Team Fortress 2

Part Saving Private Ryan, Part Spy vs. Spy, Part the Incredibles, Valve’s FPS sports some of the best designed characters to grace a video game screen. All the characters drip with personality and are perfect to be reproduced in plastic form.

The best part for whoever makes the figure, the fans will buy two of them – one in red and one in blue – to represent each of the game’s teams.

Who do you think needs to be added to this list?

Scott Rogers
Soctt "Boneyard" Rogers has been collecting toys, making custom action figures and reading comic books since before many of you were a twinkle in yore daddy's eye. Needless to say, he knows a fair bit about all of this stuff and definitely has some opinions about it. He also makes video games when he's not looking for toys, making custom action figures and reading comics books.
Read other articles by Scott Rogers.





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